The “find your purpose” revolution has been driving me crazy for a while. I’ve seen and even invested in tons of programs and books talking about it, guiding one to those answers, and providing neat models of all the components you need to explore to drive to that succinct, pithy, statement that says : “My Purpose is…”
We search for purpose like a mysterious holy grail, and expect that when we find or discover it, we will be able to sigh with relief and boldly leap into an applauding world eagerly waiting for our ultimate self-expression. Well, perhaps I am exaggerating, but just putting the right words together at a point in time, provided for me only momentary inspiration and glee. Some days after my multi-month soul making, soul purpose experience was done, I could not recapture in a moment’s notice that same inspired feeling. I would be in a swirl of confusing thoughts and conflicted feelings about how to implement my Purpose. Okay, I think I can articulate my Purpose from the series of exercises, but like a new appliance that arrives without instructions, what do I do now? What about those difficult questions which begin with “how?”
What we say Yes to or No to can reveal one’s MAP.
For another view of this, now that I am retired from my breadwinning career, and am in my mid 60’s seeking the next adventure, I now recognize that my sense of purpose was never sitting buried somewhere, waiting to be found. Rather, it’s been a pesky puppy nipping at my heels all of my life, engaging me all the time. I’ve felt it every time I have a great connection with someone, or complete a project with a sense of glee, coach a client toward a new understanding, or find myself in a delicious flow as I write. I find it in all the “Hell Yeses” I’ve blurted out, as well as the Hell No’s. I find it when I lose self-consciousness in an activity or a relational experience. Mostly, I find it when people respond to me enthusiastically as though some amazing light was emanating from the top of my head – my presence, a word or a touch somehow impacted them positively. Then I have to ask myself – “what was that all about?”
So, does Purpose need to be confined to a noteworthy seven word statement, even if it feels inspiring, or do you simply pause and notice when you are in your zone of aliveness – and simply investigate and seek more of that?
I know I am not on purpose when I feel compromised or conflicted about a choice I’ve made, a relationship I’ve entered into that triggered a soft “no” and the project I spent hours on that never felt right for me. If I feel discomfort in accepting a new job offer, there must either be a conflict of meaning for me inherent in the choice that drives into my deep values, or there is no alignment at all and I’m rationalizing the pro’s. Does it conflict with the value I give to family or me time, or does it conflict with the organizational style or structure I know works for the meaning I give to collaborating with others. Does the company help and not harm others? What is the Meaning this decision will bring to me?
Is “Purpose” really the Driver You are Seeking? Or, is it Meaning – in every moment?
I suggest that Purpose is also a revelation. It’s the Aha moments. It is the evolving theme of how we express our sense of Meaning –in who we are, how we are, how we act, and how we connect with others and the world at large. Meaning and Purpose together (the MaP), operate as the fuel and the engine, respectively. When we ask, what does this “mean,” it is personal about how we feel and perceive our world. What is meaningful may not be purposeful. When you live “purposefully,” that suggests a conscious alignment with what really matters most to you – the depth and breath of meaning for you.
Getting to purpose includes traveling and evolving through a maze of meaning-filled tensions – the polarized and misaligned points we struggle with in fitting our lives into our work, and our work into our lives, or one set of values against another. To find meaning in one’s vocation or home life involves recognizing and addressing those tensions in order to create the path toward integration and grace. These tensions are natural, and we cannot either ignore them or feel overwhelmed by them to create a meaning-based life which reveals why you’re here. So we dance to experiment until the rhythm feels sweet.
The Map of Meaning
Recently, I learned about the “Map of Meaning” and found myself very intrigued. Out of a well-researched dissertation by Marjolein Lips-Wiersma and over 20 years of testing the “map” with thousands of people, the Map of Meaning is a simple framework that assesses an individual’s or an organization’s Meaning. It consists of 4 quadrants of meaning – Being-Doing-Self-Others which further translate into 4 elements of Meaning: Integrity with Self, Unity with Others, Expression of Full Potential and Service to Others.
(from www.mapofmeaning.org)
Using this framework in the Map of Meaning book through a series of exercises can reveal the tensions we often face and the ways to navigate them. This model is dynamic and not limited to a purpose statement. Our lives breathe and move, and this model recognizes there are parts of us –the inspired part that murmurs that Purpose Statement with hope, and the parts that represent our life’s “realities,” including our family, culture, work, finances, work, geography and the ways we currently serve others and the world. Navigating how to live according to one’s MaP is both an inspired and practical path, all based on your assessments of Meaning. You can find more information about the Map of Meaning here.
In the meantime, I offer this suggestion. Live in each moment of activity with awake awareness and from time to time, pause, notice and feel your sense of Aliveness, and then ask yourself, what is the Meaning of this for me, and how important is it to me? What else would be better and in more alignment?